Schaffer the Darklord - "The Rappist"

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Schaffer the Darklord - "The Rappist"

673 483 views | 8 Aug. 2007
673 483 views | 8 Aug. 2007

Directed and edited by Bruce Ashley. Produced by Amy Selwocki. Featuring the Peach Tartes. With Leslie Hendrix, Leigh Hurwitz and Sarah Schaffer. Visit STD at Download in hi-res Quicktime at

Polk - E - Dot

i know its a small thing but you totally have told your audience to raise their hands >.> you compulsive liar.


part of me is ashamed that i misread the tittle of this song.


White haired chick is hotttttt


Thats one feminine man

Mortimer Darkwell

Is that Dita Von Teese?


Haters gonna always hate.

DJ Introspekt

This guy's so bad, he makes ICP sound good.

Dustin Jackson

nerdcore, it should get elevated


Nope, you can get an amen though.


@gassnake2004: upside-down, because it's a head-to-head game console. But the trackball and the buttons are so wrong!

sheldon murphy

Wow 10 yrs old ! Just discovered you. You arw feeaking awesome, and love the way you do your videos !!


Praise satan.


(God dammit!!) lolz


Ugh... takes me back to Fresh Prince bitin' De La Soul with his own brand of wack low impact music. Hmm I wonder whom Schafer is dūping—iCringe all the way from Oakland.


The blond... oh yeaaa.


this was posted the I was the exact day I was born


Very much so. The internet has warped my mind.


Haven't watched this for years now. still love it.

Carol ina


Jack Walters

Jim Morrison poster


SDT is full of contradictions. He also said he wouldn't sing bout his drug use, and.. well... The bender, Cocain, Intervention... They are excellent songs, but he does do exactly what he said that he wouldn't. On the other hand, he also said in a song that he is A very bad man.


let just take the time to reflect and appreciate the fat that this came out in 2007

Shaun James

Kinda reminds me of Will Smith combined with Eazy E.....

♆ Satan ♆

hes so white

Cody Smith

Why does he sound so much like weird al?


"Awful rhymes do ruin a perfectly fine instrumental." I always download the instrumentals of rap songs. I couldn't agree more. It's often so much better without the idiot trying to rap over the awesome beats.

Xenio Knights


ShadowPresident 420

I'm no Dr. Dre, I'm more like Dr. Seuss. God knows we've ALL been there bruh! If only the nerd with the big words actually got the girl in reality...


cool song but WTF


Damn i like this song, does he still do this type of stuff? I like this artist a lot and would like to see more stuff.

Adam Adair

I liked the video, it was great! I also just found out myspace is still a thing, so I think I will call this a good day. Thank you Mr. STD.

Fred Sanford

there was a chick in this ownage?

Benjamin Alefosio

Holy fuck

Gov't Issue

if you mean to make fun of their grammar, than you should've said >>an<< amen

Jerry Bradford

The implement used to create is as person as the content. I use gel pens uni-ball Signo.


Chris brought me here, and I was not disappointed.

Nerd Funk Gangsta

This is OG nerdcore at its best!

Songs By K-MAN


Andy C

I try'ed to search std and got something I dint want to see. :'-{(=


u got the completely wrong impression from this song

Jacqueline Rollins

I thought it said rapist LOL

Patrick Zimmerman

Love this song so fucking much


That chick is a man!


So is Leslie Hendrix the same person who plays Katherine on Gotham?

I couldn't help but hear how similar her voice is with the psychologist on the STD album (if that's her on that album too).

Anthony chirico

Lol yeah oddoties

Michael Kovarik

The rhymes are okay, but the rapper sounds extra douchy -- which is not so very hot in nerdcore or indie rap.


came here from oddities.... expecting something cool. horribly disappointed -_-

Steven, A.D.

I'm pretty sure STD is putting out new stuff all the time


Wow. This is a piece of old 2007-th internet. I'm surprised he has only 3.5K subs and 610K views...

Richard Leonhard

"Where´s Queens at? Where´s Queens at? Dude, let me show you on the street map" is one of the best lines ever.


Date: 12.8.11 - Time: 5:29 AM - Look, it's like this; I'm a native NY'er; grew up 45 miles east of ManHaT during the 1980's. In my teens saw (yes!) both AIDS, Crack & R. Reagan "Come of Age". Reagan, with his famous So-Called Successes & Shenanigans (Berlin Wall-Gorby Relationship, Iran-Contra). But Anyway..yea. During all this Rap out of NYC became (it can't be denied) what this Hip-Hop/Post Hip-Hop world is Today. But So F'in What? STD..This Vid is Sly, Def, Tasteful, Tre Fun, Etc +


"I don't send shout outs, I don't ever Front" Isn't that sort of a shout out to MC Frontalot? :P



hot meme 1995

Who plays Ms. Pacman upside-down on a cocktail cabinet with a trackball and two buttons?

Lauren Furgala

Remember when you're not Weird Al

Goddess Love

I can't believe this fool was on Oddities!!!! Horrible!!!!!


We could use this today. Purely for the entertainment value you bring to the table.

Scagnettie Noyb


Steven Vensky

I hope they keep this on YT forever!

Jase fetti

I feel that im left out or unpopular the fact that I listen to nerdcore BUT I do it anyways the fact that anyone who liked this knows he and mc frontalot are more lyrical than lil wayne and that i'll eventualy find a click of friends that express nerd pride by suspender hanging and dress cloths on weekdays


Love this song! I wish he had done it when I saw him live. He did perform “Cat People” though, so I can die happy!


I read the dictionary on the schoolbus when I was bored. Granted, it was the abridged version but what do you want from me, it was elementary school. The disturbed looks from my schoolmates was worth it all by itself. :)


Well, my name is Schaffer and I'm here to say
I can rock the mic in the oldschool way
I got a funky sound
And right about now, I'd like to break it down
Say what

[Part 1]
Don't call it hip-hop, because it really isn't
If you listen, it's similar, but just a little different
Rhythmically delivered lyrics over wicked beats
Are the end of this and hip-hop's similarities 
Cause I don't bounce and I don't do rap hands
See, look at me, I look like an ass, man 
No crew, no gin and juice
I'm no Dr. Dre, I'm more like Dr. Seuss 
I wouldn't use the word rapper, it's rather inaccurate
I do talk fast, use rhyming words like "immaculate"
Hubba-bubba bubble gum, bubblicious bubble yum
Rubber baby, buggy bumpers - this is dumb
I don't rap about the ladies, all are individuals
Or call my bitching about the world political
I don't send shout-outs, I don't ever front
I just discuss a bunch of goofy stuff and say What

[Hook 1]
I'm not the baddest or the fastest or the phattest
My name is STD, my people call me the Rappist
I'm no rapper, this isn't hip-hop
Call me the Rappist and you don't stop
I'm not the baddest or the fastest or the fattest
My name is STD, my people call me the Rappist

[Part 2]
Everyone'll wonder, what the booker was under
When I come on out and step to the mic
You were askin' for a rapper, instead you got the Rappist
And it happens that there's no one I'm like (outta sight)
I don't freestyle, I only write my words
And I'm singin' it, to me wingin', it's for the birds
I often get asked to by non rappin' band nerds
STD is the abbreviation for standard
No DJ, no need for turntables
Just give me my box , a 58 and a cable
An onstage DI and some monitors, too
But keep the reverb off my mix sound man, , thank you
And I don't play tough and say, "Step the fuck back"
What the fuck is that? that's not how I act
I like to keep my audience up close to the stage
I'd you rather you stay than chased away when I play
So where's Queen's at (what), where's Queen's at (what)
Dude, let me show you on this street map (oh)
It's right here, over Roosevelt, across the East River
That's enough of that crap, I got some raps to deliver

[Hook 2]
Everybody, look at me
Who's he, he's STD
He's a geek, he's no MC
Just who the hell he's s'pposed to be
And he's so, I don't know
I know he's no rapper and that's when I go

[Part 3]
Hotel, Motel
Holiday Inn 
Killer out of sight, it's the Rappist delight
When goose bumps are jumpin' out of your skin (I win)
I don't dance, never, not a goddamn chance
I stand in the back, clutching a cup in my stance
One hand in my pocket, head nodding, hunched over
Sippin' cheap yellow beer, clear out, before the show's over
When a rapper says Throw your hands up, I don't
When a rapper says Make some noise, I won't
Bossing your audience is awfully pompous
So I'll never do it, that's the STD promise
I'll never battle rap or rap like I'm black
And I'll try to never lose sight of just where I'm at
Goddammit, and i'll never do that again
And by that I mean end a sentence with a preposition
I got props for the real hip-hop
Those who pop and lock to the beat of a boombox
Those who cock their Glocks and bawk Fuck the cops
It's just not how I rock and I don't stop

[Hook 2]

[Part 4]
Don't push me, cause I'm close to the edge
And I'm tryin' not to lose my head 
In the west I'm the raddest, I'm the best, I'm the Rappist
In the street I've not a drop of cred (I said)
I almost always write my rhymes on a page
Of 3 by 5 notebooks I buy at Rite Aid
And I like to write 'em with a Pilot Precise 5
Rolling ball, black ink in extra fine
I don't need a titular line (try)
Stickin' to my themes and write original rhymes
Indeed, I smoke weed, I rarely write without it
But I don't really feel that means I need to rap about it
I guess, I often write a song by my formula
Which is 3 verses followed by 3 choruses
But never open going, yo, yo
When I hear a rapper do that, I go Oh, no
Though I'm not implying that you don't know what you're doing
But often times awful rhymes do ruin
An otherwise perfectly fine instrumental
I think you should avoid ink and write with a pencil
And erase the parts that don't sound so hot 
This'll all be covered in my workshop
Entitled This is How to Write a Rhyme
At least it's how to write it in a style that's mine

[Hook 2] ‌ 

[Part 5]
Oooo-oooo, that's the sound of the police 
But I really doubt they're coming for me
Because I've done no crime, I'm just doing my thing
I'm the Rappist known as STD
Don't call it hip-hop, because it really isn't
It's just a little different, did you listen as I hit it
I just spit a mile a minute, now I'll hit and quit it
I'm only kidding, you with it, you in it, you get it
I'm not the baddest or the fastest or the phattest
My name is STD, my people call me the Rappist
Bass, how low can you go
Death row, what a brother knows 
This is the end of the track called The Rappist
And thanks for coming out to the show

J.M. Sturdivant

Dude, have you ever met Zach Sherwin?

Mc Chaotic Neutral & Rusty Shackleford & Company

Ima Pullya

Shit is really cool and he got skillz no bullshit


almost 500 dislikes, why ???

donna king

He raps about using a 57 mic. But he is not using one

jonathan aiglon

the white slick rick!


One hit wonder?


Tyler brought me here

Steven Vensky

Speed dating bells, Rite-Aid, Death Row Records, 3x5 pads,  Hip Hop, gin & juice, Queens, so many throwbacks it's like a history lesson on the 80's & 90's!!



Toxic pig that you could do better than

I didnt know avgn's brother made music. Cool.

Bon Viveur

The only STD i've ever enjoyed


u got the completely wrong impression from this song

Ezekiels Paradise

This is like old school rap but modern. It's good shit.


The "rappist"? Man, in this day and age of SJW hysteria, you might want to reconsider that name... XD

Jacob Place

who is she ?

Snowy 2ZERO

hahaha just seen this guy on an episode ov Oddities, had to check him out & am pleasantly surprised he's pretty damn good! :)

Alan G

this is the first time and first song of heard of this guy. got here because mc chris mentioned him when he kicked out a heckler. i was honestly scared that the woman on the screen shot was him. after hearing this, i subscribed


listening to this i was trying to remember where this voice is reminding me from. It sounds like weird al. I'm quite enjoying these songs. and just one more thing did you do a shaco lol song?

Tyler Knox

I would like this song more if had a better beat. I don't like rushed beats like this.


Should have also picked up a grammar textbook. No sense in knowing all those words if you can't use them.

My Perspective

Love the first girl.

Hilary Carleo

You are definitely the nerd version of eminem!!! Love it!!

Julia Morris

was the lad at the end his wife?

Syzz Gigul

Love it. It's not some trash shit that's about pot, crime, or sex.

Matt Case

ollllllkkkjhyzthyjmnssyrhn mjfhxnrfdhbytjnrysng xcv

Prazan Forelsket

He looks like my principle Mr.Herman =/

Jase fetti

wait dose s.t.d. only have one album

Kevin C.

Rarely write without it, But i don't need to rap about it. CLASS!!

Cowboy Dan

Still great.


This video is fresh though.


I like the song, but not the video got really dumb in the middle... The ending was good though.


Indeed I smoke weed. I rarely write without it, but I don't feel that means I need to rap about it. STD's lyrics are dope.




No! He have made five. Meet my maker, Mark of the beast, Manslaughter, Junk drawer and Sick passenger. Check out his bandcamp,

BobMother FuckinSmith

This dude is what America needs. To bad the populous is too stupid to take thier STD medicine. This dude kills Eminem in lyrical gymnastics. Please make more man.

Beehive of Sensual Pleasures

If all rappers were geeks rap would be way better.... less "bitches and hoes" more really awesome intelligent rhymes like Schaffer magically spews out at every line. His part in Bruce Campbell is by far my favorite verse in any song.